17. SOLVE PROBLEMS EARLY AND BUILD TRUST BY LISTENING BEFORE YOU SPEAK - PART 1 - FLORIN LUNGU

Recorded Live at International Business Growth Radio (www.IBGR.Network)

Steven Sample, in his book The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership, writes,

“The average person suffers from three delusions:

(1)   That he is a good driver,

(2)   That he had a good sense of humor, and

(3)   That he is a good listener.”

I know to be guilty of all three.

I will never forget a conversation I had with my wife Florina when she confronted me about my poor listening skills. She said, “You’re not listening to me. You seem distracted when I talk to you. You keep your laptop in front of you and you’re not paying attention to me.”

That surprised me because as most people, and more importantly, as a professional coach, I thought I was a good listener. But I was wrong. The first thing I did was to apologize and I then started to try to change that and become a better listener.

Show Objectives - The Why

If you doubt we all need to improve our listening skills, consider this thought by show host Larry King who said, “I remind myself every morning: nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.”

I keep it close to me because I have to remind myself all the time to listen more than I speak.

Key Issues - Owner Perspective:

The biggest challenge business leaders face is they believe as leaders they have to have answers and they believe talking is more important than listening. This makes them poor listeners.

I always remind myself that when my lips are moving, I’m not selling, I’m telling. And that is true in business with our team, with clients, investors, as much as it is true with family and friends.

Listening is way underrated and most of us could probably get better at doing it.

What You Need to Know - The What

Why Listeners Are Better Entrepreneurs and Business Leaders

1.      Understanding people precedes Leading (and Selling to) Them

2.      Listening is the best way to learn and grow

3.      Listening saves time and money

4.      Listening establishes trust – by the questions I’ll ask you’ll know I listen

5.      Listening improves relationships

What You Need to Do - The How

How do I know I need to become a better listener?

Here is an idea of how you can know that: give yourself a listening audit.

1.      Record your next important meeting or sales conversation or have someone listen in for you on the call if you’re not able to record it

2.      Listen back to the recording – if you feel uncomfortable hearing yourself speak, that’s the first sign you could improve your listening

3.      If you’re not listening at least 80 percent of the time, you need to improve.

4.      Find a way to remind yourself to listen – add a marker like writing the letter “L” in the corner of your notepad or as a post-it on your desktop

What else could you do?

-         Do people around you feel listened to?

-         What people have you neglected to reach out to?

I’ll close with this quote by Jim Rohn who said, “One of the greatest gifts you can give anyone is the gift of attention”

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